THE UNDERWEAR DUDE

 J-WARE is underwear created by textile experts from the University of Tokyo. One of the astronauts of the Space Shuttle has the pleasure of sporting this odor–free garment. This underwear is designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly. It’s also flame-resistant and anti–static proof.  Not to mention it’s comfortable and stylish. (yea right)

This underwear is designed to be worn for an entire week.

After reading this I know that three quarters of the men on the planet are cheering and ALL woman of the world are screaming.  Unless my water at my home mysteriously shuts off, a nuclear disaster, or Nostradamus’ end of the world prediction comes true, I can’t think of any reason to wear the same underwear two days in a row. Let alone a week.  

Unfortunately, there’s some referees out there in love with this product and its not even in stores yet. 

“I can referee three games with the same underwear! Watch out!”  

I know, I know, I hate that visual. 

When I first read about this astronaut, I felt sorry for him. Then I saw his picture before he got on the space shuttle. He had this huge smile from ear to ear. He’s either real happy or can’t wait to get on the space shuttle so he can scratch. In my eyes he’ll forever be known as the “Underwear Dude.” If someone sees him in the airport, people won’t say, “There’s the Space Shuttle Astronaut.”  They’ll say, “That’s the Underwear Dude.” At the mall, “That’s the Underwear Dude.” At the local bodega, “That’s the Underwear Dude.”

Damn

Please don't throw him

I refereed a ton of sixth and seventh grade boys' game when I first started. Back then you could work at least four games a day. Basketball junkie was an understatement. These where the games where the parents would scream, stomp and sometimes curse you out. The coaches where just as bad. 

I recall a game where this coach kept giving me crazy beef on every play.  I drew my line in the sand and he crossed it. 

What did he win?

A technical foul and a possible trip to snow covered streets of northern New Jersey.

Of course the coach wouldn’t stop complaining after the first technical.  Just before I decided to send him on his fun filled vacation, one of the kids walked up to me and said, “Please don’t throw him out.  That’s my Dad, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

This might have been the only time I could physically feel my jaw drop and eye lids widen. 

This was one of the moments in life where you realize the kids are smarter than the parents. They were content running up and down the court. They were playing on a team. Had a tee shirt with a number on the front.  The referees made it feel official. For these kids, this was their NBA. They were living out there Jordan, Magic and Bird fantasies on the court. These days its Lebron, Kobe, and Wade.They where living the life. I was just blessed to be apart of it.

By the way, I had to get a parent from the bleachers to finish the game after I tossed the coach out the gym.